She Built Her Identity on Love
Cassandra and her Dad celebrating her new kidney.
Last week, I was honored to share my cousin’s story at her funeral. Hearing someone’s story really can change your life. My cousin Cassandra loved to go to sleep listening to stories. She had a few different apps on her phone that provided a variety of imaginative tales. She said that listening to stories gave her incredible peace in the face of life’s uncertainties. Well, Cass, today – you rest in the unexplainable perfect peace in the arms of Jesus … and now it’s your story that offers us peace.
(Timeline written by Cassandra’s immediate family) Cassandra was born in St. Paul’s hospital in Saskatoon on February 20, 1979. She lived in Waldheim until she moved to Unity at the age of 1, with her family. Cassandra was blessed when her best friend and little sister Courtney came along in 1982. Cass had a happy childhood, growing up and graduating here in Unity. Cass was diagnosed with diabetes in 1988 at the age of 8 and she didn’t let her diagnosis slow her down. If you knew Cass, you know she lived life to the fullest enjoying friends, competitive sports, and attending school. Cass graduated high school in 1997 and moved to Medicine Hat to attend College and study Travel and Tourism for 2 years. Later, she moved to Kelowna and became a manager at Manteo Resort in Kelowna. It never took Cassandra long to move up the ranks at whatever job she did – she was remarkably dedicated and her unique ability to connect with people gave her incredible success! When Cass’s first niece Emily was born in 2003 she moved back to Saskatchewan to be closer to her family. She got a job with Star Rehab and quickly rose through the ranks. Cass became the recruiter for Western Canada and moved to Calgary to do this work that she deeply valued. After an entire year of being on dialysis, Cass received a kidney from her dad in 2009. After this, Cassandra had major health challenges and had to take a break from work and move closer to home. She spent a couple of years in Unity with her dad and her health struggles continued. Eventually, she moved to Saskatoon to be closer to the medical specialists who supported her. It was in Saskatoon that fate matched her with her most compassionate partner, Kevin. Cass cherished the time she spent with Kevin’s little girl, Riley. Although Cassandra could be a softy, she meant business when it came to sports! She enjoyed her NFL Sunday and watching the Minnesota Vikings and the Edmonton Oilers. No matter what was thrown at her, Cassandra loved life, she loved people and she loved being loved, right until the end. She left this world very peacefully surrounded by her loving family and friends.
So there you have it, the timeline of Cassandra’s own story. Cass didn’t enjoy stories because of the facts she learned – but instead – the effect that stories had on her. The inspiration she gleaned, or the peace she experienced. Cassandra had a way of making you feel like your story was important too, no matter who you were. This is why each conversation with Cassandra was so memorable, because you left feely deeply valued. Often, when you hear a eulogy read at a funeral, dates are listed and you get a sense of the preferences and passions of that person. You get a glimpse of who they were – their identity.
Cassandra was tenacious in many ways, but I think the most marked demonstration of her courage happened when life circumstances caused her to discover NEW parts of her identity and let go of others. When Cass faced significant health challenges, she could no longer work the same jobs, play the same sports (she had been an incredible ballplayer by the way), or even go to some of the same places she once did. It took blazing resolve to walk forward during this time and discover more about her identity without these things we all so often look to, to define us. To me, Cass’s greatest accomplishment was not related to her jobs, her sports, or even the fact that she made others feel important. Cass’s greatest act of courage was believing that her life was important – even when she had lost so much. She audaciously accepted God’s stamp of purpose in the middle of her pain.
In Rick Warren’s best-selling book, The Purpose Driven Life, he writes, “The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It’s far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by his purpose and for his purpose.” By having the courage to believe her own dear life was marked with purpose, when she had lost so much that had once defined her, Cassandra built her identity on love – and this really was the essence of Cassandra. She believed God loved her, had a purpose for her, and valued her – and her mission and decision was to show love to others.
When Cassandra lived in a small town after her kidney transplant, she volunteered at the hospital. In fact, I believe she spent time reading to my grandma Martin there. When she moved to Saskatoon, she got involved with the Live Well Program that supports people who struggle with chronic illness. She eventually became a leader and a mentor in the program helping people develop a mindset of resiliency and hope.
Cassandra supported the CCO, the Catholic Christian Outreach and was excited to learn about their mission to spread the Gospel across Canada through Canadian Universities. OH did she LOVE her nieces! If you ever heard her speak about her three nieces, Emily, Ava and Jaclyn – you heard a fierce love come through. She could not have been more proud to be your auntie, or more determined for each of you to live your best life! Cassandra also treasured time with Kevin Ens and beautiful Riley. She often spoke of this gorgeous little girl, and how much fun you showered into her life, Riley.
Cassie was willing to try new things and, especially when it came to advancing diabetic research. She loved her family and was always concerned for the well-being of each person. Cassandra experienced deep joy over small victories that many people take for granted. Her sister Courtney remembers that most of her text messages included the phrase “I’m SO excited…” – this excitement would be roused by a simple cup of tea with a friend. Her dad remembers being at a hockey game with her, noticing tears in her eyes after a big goal, she looked at him and said, I’M just SO happy!” Cass wasn’t faking or pretending to experience this joy. It was real – she felt deeply – the joys and the sorrows of life. A numb, “just-get-by” mindset would never define her days. Cassandra’s resilience was developed at an early age when Cass and her sister Courtney would spend summer days at ball tournaments cheering for their dad and uncles as they competed. I think Cass would give them a run for their money on the ball diamond later on…
Yes, Cassandra was a beacon of HOPE.
A peaceful story always leaves the listener feeling hope.
This is why Cassandra loved to fall asleep listening …
This is what Cass did for us while she was on earth.
She inspired hope in us.
This is what Jesus did for Cassie while she was on earth.
He inspired hope in HER.
And now her story on earth has ended, Cass’s hope that stretched beyond this world is now full. A new script has already begun – and this one doesn’t include any sickness, hurt, or pain. The new script is penned perfectly and won’t ever end. Thank you Cass, for writing a story on earth that has always pointed our eyes to heaven – especially today – as we read your story and experience a small glimpse of the HOPE you are fully living now.
