Surrender

I am thrilled to introduce to you my friend Kerstin Ramirez. She is living in the midst of struggle and finding freedom as she rests her heart in surrender to Jesus. Take a moment to read her story. It will inspire bravery in your spirit for whatever you are facing, as it has in mine.

Surrender
By Kerstin Ramirez

I was happy. I had the life I always dreamed of. I married a great and handsome guy, whom I love deeply. I have three beautiful children, came from a strong Christian family, and we lived in the Dominican Republic (where I feel God called me).

A year and a half ago, we decided to come back to Canada to be able to give our children more opportunities for a few years. I came first with the kids and my husband was to follow. He never came to join us.

I was devastated! Everything that made me happy was gone. I could no longer see why God called me to a country that I loved so much but that would eventually bring me so much pain. I don’t want to be in Canada. How was this going to play out now? I struggled with feelings of worthlessness and defeat. I mourned the death of my marriage, the loss for my children, and how it affected both sides of the family.

Recently, I was working through another layer of pain and kept asking myself, how much pain do I have to deal with before God takes it away? In response, my mother sent me a sermon. It talked about how God can preach in the shallows, but it’s in the deep where He can do the real work. The timing must have been right (God’s got a way of doing that) because I heard that sermon and I drank in every word. He wants to meet me in my mess. But I have to wade through the shallows of the limits that I put on myself, the pain of loss, feelings of worthlessness, need for control, and the things that I’m comfortable facing. I had to move through all of that and go deeper. I was scared of what I had to give up in order to jump in and trust that He would take care of me.

A common verse has been spoken into my life many times over the years by different people, and I started to feel as if God wrote it just for me.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11

Surrender is the word that plays over and over in my head. The deep is a vulnerable place, but that’s where transformation happens. Being a single mom has been very challenging. I have to surrender daily, and put all of my trust in Him to keep my head above water. And I have been amazed at how He has provided us with the things we need, materially and spiritually.

This experience, in all its ugliness, has strengthened my relationship with the One who never leaves or forsakes!

Thank you Jesus!

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