The Right Advice
Oh, was I feeling empty. Have you been there? The things that once had energized me no longer did, and I was searching for satisfaction in something deeper.
How would I get there? Someone took the time to give me the right advice.
We met in a quiet coffee shop and she asked question, after question, after question. Her questions were inspiring and challenging, and caused me to reflect on my beliefs, values, behaviors, strengths, and passions. I didn’t know she was actively listening so she could ask the right questions, with the right attitude, to help me grow in my understanding of God’s love.
I wanted to experience God’s love and to be deeply satisfied by it. Her questions helped me discover the amazing possibilities of what that could mean for my life and those around me and helped to move me forward when I felt stuck!
When we are receiving advice, we can tell quickly whether the advice-giver truly believes we are capable to think and solve problems. The essence and state of being of the advice-giver is of paramount importance. Communication is interpreted 55% by body language, 38% by tone, and only 7% by words. Demeanour matters big time. When Jesus asks us questions, his presence assures us He believes we are capable, with His help. He sits kindly with us as we process and He listens and asks questions to guide us to think creatively and curiously.
Sounds easy, right? Not so. It takes a self-less heart to give advice in this manner.
No personal agenda
No leading questions
No pushing or prodding
No strings attached
Sounds like unconditional love, in action. Jesus is the master advice-giver. How does He do it? He asks us questions with Truth and Grace.
He asks with TRUTH. The goal is to help a person connect with their true self as they think with curiosity to solve their own problem.
Who is your true self?
“It is the intelligence at the core of who you are. It is the most inspired part of you. It is a state of awareness that excludes all the labels that create fear and separation from others. It enables me to choose a course of action that serves the greater good in that moment. It is a level of conscious awareness that I have when I am at ease, feeling fully alive and at choice, and able to make wise decisions. It is a state of being when I am free of any judgment or habitual ways of thinking and free to make any choice that will serve the greatest good.” – Henna Inam
I believe this describes a person abiding in their God-given identity.
Secure. Significant. Accepted.
This mindset and state of being provides a solid foundation to think with true curiosity and faith and to imagine new possibilities for yourself and others. This is the epicenter of hope, creativity and innovation. To access your authentic self, you must receive the Gospel truth: You are forgiven and free, whole and dearly loved, in this present moment. This is the Good news of the Gospel.
How can we give advice with this kind of truth?
Listen intentionally for:
Topics that give the other energy
Areas of strength
Possibilities and opportunities
Personal Values
Then, ask questions about these things. Practice ABC!
Actively note their presence, words and body language
Be curious, present and attentive to their presence, words and body language
Choose questions intentionally to empower the other to think for themselves and choose to believe they are capable of solving their own dilemma
Yes, Jesus asks questions that lead to truth.
Jesus also asks questions with GRACE. Jesus asks the right questions with love, patience and acceptance. His kindness leads us to change, repentance and growth.
Why is it so important to ask questions with grace instead of judgment?
When the human brain detects judgment, we slip into fight or flight mode. When this happens, our ability to think with openness and wisdom escapes us and we are taken over by reactive impulse. To ask questions without judgment takes self-awareness and practice, but it is worth the effort! By doing so, we empower people to experience deep heart transformation and growth.
If you have accepted the free gift of forgiveness, Jesus has taken all of your shame and judgment and nailed it to the Cross. It is finished. That is why when you perceive judgment, you are prevented from thinking clearly and accessing your true identity. The Gospel says: You have been set free from such constraints. “Who the Son sets free is free in deed.” – John 8:36
This Christmas, ask Christ-like questions, and be assured you will be giving the right advice.
